home for the holidays

i'd rather go brome for the holidays. so that's what i'm gonna do.














suck it, tradition.

December

WTF?

oh, yeah...

and we bought a house. built in 1949.

we're gutting, moving walls, freaking out, installing things, fixing things up, freaking out some more, designing, deciding, planning, mapping, stocking up on four loko while it is still caffeinated, laughing, crying (not yet, but i'm pretty sure it is coming), yelling, dreaming, partying. we will blog about the adventure. sometime. i promise. maybe.

let's do this.

dang, y'all

i'm 31 now.

highly enjoyable

discuss.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

so let's talk about respect. it is one of those things that your parents teach you when you are little (at least hopefully they do) that goes along with calling people mr. or mrs. (or ma'am or sir for all of you southerners). it's teaching your kids to respect someone's privacy by not asking socially taboo questions and minding your "p's and q's." it's treating your friends properly, your significant other... for my dad it even means vacuuming and washing your car on a weekly basis. i guess inanimate objects need respect, too.

but as you get older and you enter the workforce, you inevitably meet people along the way who have no idea how to respect their colleagues for what they've accomplished. i've done a lot, and a lot isn't new to me. i know how to do my job and do it well. and to be honest, the job i'm in now is pretty boring considering i feel completely unchallenged during the day. i've done bigger things than this, i've accomplished better things than this -- both personally and professionally. but it is the latter that just makes me want to pull my hair out.

being the "low man on the totem pole" in a particular place of business doesn't mean that's always been the case. and it sure as shit doesn't mean that person is lacking in experience. yes, i know there's always an opportunity to learn in any situation... blah, blah, blah. i know that, and i'm not discounting that. but many o' days i want to pull out my resume, my portfolio and whatever else i can arm myself with, make copies and hand it out for colleagues to "refresh" themselves with what i'm capable of doing -- and what i've already accomplished and know how to do. sometimes i dream of what i would say to one of them before i got up out of my chair and completely peace-d out... like in a movie. when characters aren't real. and their jobs aren't real. and they don't depend on the income from their non-real job. because they make millions at their real job. acting like they have a job. being "one of us."

anyway...

all i'm saying is this: respect, people. respect what i've done. respect what i do. respect what i know. i deserve it. i work hard and i'm good at what i do. people are expected to do that for their bosses, but how many of those bosses actually deserve it? that's what i thought. but we have to do it anyway or else that boss can fire us. it really is a good swift kick in the teeth for most of us, isn't it, friends?

my situation isn't unique. i know that. i complain about stuff like this a lot. i know that, too. but when i spend most of my life working, it seems to be a popular topic of conversation. so i guess how i plan to handle my situation will be unique. or maybe it won't.

i don't know yet.

heart

*once wed

need vs. want

these both fall into the "need" category:

get-away

You wanna go to the Islander Inn in on Ocean Isle Beach? I do, too. You can enter to win by visiting The B Keeps Us Honest. And if one of the 3 of you who actually read this blog wins, you're taking me with you. Understood?

Oh, and did I mention that Jessica gives away a crapload of stuff all the time? Just something to think about.

i say tom-ah-to

i can see a little weekend project on the horizon. not to mention a little change-up in my decorating plan for the rental. after all, you did say tomato.

in order

1. sleigh bells
2. school of seven bells
3. broken bells

Go.

alphabet soup

typographer and illustrator Jessica Hische made my day when i spotted this sweet 'j' in her daily drop cap. and since the weather here has been pretty much amazing, this is perfectly fitting...

of the young & the restless

that's right... i've got two yards of this ridiculously awesome fabric coming my way. retails for $200 a yard (to the trade only) and i scored it for less than half.

holla.

cardigans

yes, i love the band and yes, i love to wear them. i think i'd really like to wear this one.

and hopefully i'll win in instead of buying it.

just like heaven

*ashlee raubach

restlessness

it has been a long time since i have been in that "restless" phase of life. in fact, the last time was in 2005 when i was itching to experience life in a new place and not just continue the grind in pennsylvania.

our move to north carolina was, ultimately, good for the soul. i was restless at first... for sure. no friends, no familiar surroundings, no idea what we'd gotten ourselves into. but we made it through, feeling God's pull to keep us here. i experienced a couple of tough job situations, but ended up in a job i liked a lot at UNC, with coworkers who i still get together with nearly 2 years after leaving that job. i moved on to another job in 2008 that was just a much better fit for our lifestyle and i've been there since. and i like it, too.

we bought our first house here, we're raising our first [pet] family here and hopefully will raise our first [human] family here. we have AMAZING friends here, a fantastic community at our church, great weather, lots to do... so what is wrong with me? why do i feel restless?

i think i'm discovering that unlike my first bout with this parasite called dissatisfaction, this new round deals with my career. i think i might be unhappy in my career choice. (cue dooms day music)

i know a lot of women my age going through this right now... that second career calling. it would be the first career switch for any of us since we graduated from college and i think that is what makes it the scariest. but what about all that money and time i spent in college? what about the time and effort i've put into becoming good at what i do? what about the [relative] financial security that i've been able to build? how does one go about addressing these questions? where the hell do i start? there are aspects of PR that i've not tried my hand at that i think i'd really enjoy -- corporate communications being one of them. so yes, i could try that. but i also have a severe nagging to follow more of a "dream" to be an interior decorator. yeah, yeah... not like this dream is going to change the world, i know. but i'm seriously lacking in the creativity department. i used to be so creative, so excited to be creative. the desk i'm chained to has become a piece of cheap veneer that represents a serious growing resentment. and don't even get me started about my office chair!

and some days are worse than others. yesterday was not nearly as bad as monday, and today (i hope) won't be as bad as yesterday. yea! hmm... perhaps the weather has something to do with this?

anyway... i think my next step is to get down to business. what would a new career look like? what would the investment look like? what would i like the end result to be? or even ask myself if it is possible to just redirect what i'm doing now but within the same organization. and in the meantime, while i figure out my life (stop laughing) i will enjoy what i'm doing because i am definitely one lucky gal to even have a job at an organization i can believe in. and i can do what i can to make those decorating dreams somewhat of a reality by basically offering myself as a designer's bitch for however long necessary. that should either allow me to a.) gain valuable experience that leads to a new career, or b.) get myself arrested for assault.

ready. set. go.

you say tomato

i'm not a huge fan of red. i mean, i like it, just not in large doses. but a while back i discovered my fancy for tomato red. and this kitchen confirms that fancy.

and by the way...

this living room makes me swoon.


*msn home

in charge

i have zero authority at work. it bothers me. especially when i've proven to do work of the same quality, if not better, than those above me, the entire time i've been here.

i hate that this is something i struggle with... a lot. it is always just bad timing. i get into a company thinking there's great opportunity for growth and we have a recession or something completely out of that company's control. or people who are already WAY past their prime decide to stay just to make it impossible for anyone else to move up. but then i get too busy to think about it and when i revisit the idea of finding a new job, places i'm interested in have just hired or just closed the management position that was open. argh! but, perspective, right? it could be a ton worse. and seriously... who likes a control freak anyway?

maybe i'm just in a phase completely opposite of the honeymoon right now. is that called the "#@&%-this-but-i'm-thankful-for-a-job" phase?

discuss.