the countdown begins

we're moving into our new house in 10 short days. i can't believe it... after 4 months of renovations it is FINALLY time!

so WTF am i doing looking at what other houses are on the market right now?

i think i'm terrified of what we're about to do. i mean, we couldn't have gotten the house any cheaper, it is going to be brand new on the inside, semi-brand new on the outside, has a huge yard, is in a great little neighborhood and is within walking/biking distance to downtown.

but it has one draw-back... it is small. i think the size is finally starting to sink in and it is scaring me a little. at 940 sf, it is 150 sf smaller than our first house, but has SO much more character. it will be fine for the two of us (and the beagle) and even for our first child. so i think maybe it isn't that that is scaring me so much as i'm facing the prospect of being let down. i know this sounds insane, but i don't know what this house looks like or feels like in the summertime. that is critical for me. a house always looks so healthy and loved in the summertime. since we bought the house in the fall, i have no idea what it will look like -- what the trees will look like with leaves, how the air will circulate through the house with open windows, if we'll be able to grow a garden and flowers, what it will be like to sit on the back patio and enjoy saturday morning coffee or a beer after work. i have an idea of how those things will be -- and they'll be perfect -- but i'm kind of afraid of being let down. it has been over a year since we sold our house and it has been four long months for this house to be completed in the renovations. and i've been excited every single minute of that process.

life has been handing us a few lemons lately, so maybe that's why i'm feeling a bit anxious. a car wreck that totaled the husband's car the day before he left the country for work, maintaining crazy hours at the office (or bringing the office home), the stress of paying both rent and a mortgage until the house is done... the list goes on.

but you know what? just in the time i've been writing this, i'm realizing how stupidly blessed we are to be where we are -- we adore the city and state where we live, have jobs, phenomenal friends, health, family, a beagle, each other and now an amazing house. damn.

i guess i'll just go make lemonade and meet you out back on the patio.